Another milestone--I just hit the 20 week or halfway mark. I had "the anatomy" ultrasound yesterday which of course brings more anxieties. It is always magical to see the baby but as I have been the whole pregnancy, I was nervous that everything would look normal. My husband accompanied me to the appointment. We got to see our *confirmed* baby girl and poke around for about 10-15 minutes viewing all her different body parts and organs. The tech at my OB is very nice and chatted with us during the whole process, making sure we understood where and what we were looking at.
I had to wait another hour to see my OB. Annoying but typical. I mostly surfed the internet on my phone to keep my mind occupied. When she finally came in, she told me there was one issue she wanted to monitor but everything with the baby looked great. Turns out my placenta attached low on the front of my uterus. She mentioned the term placenta previa but said it was borderline and hopefully it will continue to grow away from the cervix. I'll have another scan in four weeks to check on the progress. I am most thankful that baby girl is healthy and happy in her little bubble.
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
Monday, January 4, 2016
12 weeks
Hitting the 12 week mark felt good. Every day/week that goes by, I feel more confident and excited. I'm not going to lie though, I took my first pregnancy for granted (at least a little bit). I hardly ever worried if something was wrong or would happen. This time, I'm still shell shocked. I'm so grateful and so hopeful for beating the POF odds but I'm definitely guarded. I daydream and think about the baby and my son as a brother then quickly snap back and lock up the emotions. Maybe not the healthiest mental exercise...Like I said, daily lessons on who's in control.
After discussing with my OB, I elected to take the Harmony blood test which predicts the risk of Down Syndrome and other genetic conditions--trisomy 13 and 18. That's the stressful part of the test. The good part is it also checks the XY chromosomes, so you get to find out the baby's sex early. Obviously with doubts of "good eggs" ringing in my ears, I was a little anxious after I had my blood drawn. Oh yeah, and the fact that you have to wait 10+ days for the results.
The day before Thanksgiving I called my OB office like I had done for the last three days and asked if my results were in by chance. They were! Cue the heart palpitations. The sweet nurse did a dramatic pause and said, "You're having a...girl." I was literally speechless. She asked if I was still on the line. My husband predicts baby gender with amazing accuracy and he had been telling me for weeks it was another boy. I didn't care what we had but I was completely shocked to hear girl. I even asked her to double check if she had pulled up the right account.
The nurse was already wishing me a Happy Thanksgiving when I reminded her of the real reason we ordered the test. She shared great results--extremely low chance of abnormality. It was a fun Thanksgiving the next day sharing the good news and surprising our family with pink baby booties.
After discussing with my OB, I elected to take the Harmony blood test which predicts the risk of Down Syndrome and other genetic conditions--trisomy 13 and 18. That's the stressful part of the test. The good part is it also checks the XY chromosomes, so you get to find out the baby's sex early. Obviously with doubts of "good eggs" ringing in my ears, I was a little anxious after I had my blood drawn. Oh yeah, and the fact that you have to wait 10+ days for the results.
The day before Thanksgiving I called my OB office like I had done for the last three days and asked if my results were in by chance. They were! Cue the heart palpitations. The sweet nurse did a dramatic pause and said, "You're having a...girl." I was literally speechless. She asked if I was still on the line. My husband predicts baby gender with amazing accuracy and he had been telling me for weeks it was another boy. I didn't care what we had but I was completely shocked to hear girl. I even asked her to double check if she had pulled up the right account.
The nurse was already wishing me a Happy Thanksgiving when I reminded her of the real reason we ordered the test. She shared great results--extremely low chance of abnormality. It was a fun Thanksgiving the next day sharing the good news and surprising our family with pink baby booties.
Birthday scare
I was one day shy of 6 weeks along when I had a bleeding episode. It was a Friday afternoon and also happened to be my son's third birthday. It was more than light pink spotting, it was full on dark red, menstrual looking blood. Scary blood. My heart sank because I immediately feared the worst. I wanted to get pregnant so badly but how cruel to get pregnant and have this happen. Even worse, to have this happen today and scar my son's birthday for all future anniversaries. I pleaded with God.
My husband was on his way home and when he arrived 30 minutes later, I was still having some bleeding. I had called my RE and they wanted to see me ASAP. I went to the office by myself because my husband had to watch our son (children are not allowed). I was crying and praying the whole way there and as I waited in the office for nearly an hour! There were other appointments to be seen and it was 4pm on a Friday in a fertility office (some may know that as a prime time). The sweet nurses let me sit in a private room and several came by to encourage and hug me.
I finally had my blood drawn and was sent to the ultrasound room. A different physician came in with my regular nurse. I explained to him what happened and this would also be my first ultrasound. To all our relief, we saw the baby, heard the heartbeat, and didn't see any major tears in my uterus. I had a few more spotting incidents over the next two weeks but nothing like that particular day. I never really knew what caused it. Either way, like most pregnant women I am still slightly worried every time I use the restroom.
My husband was on his way home and when he arrived 30 minutes later, I was still having some bleeding. I had called my RE and they wanted to see me ASAP. I went to the office by myself because my husband had to watch our son (children are not allowed). I was crying and praying the whole way there and as I waited in the office for nearly an hour! There were other appointments to be seen and it was 4pm on a Friday in a fertility office (some may know that as a prime time). The sweet nurses let me sit in a private room and several came by to encourage and hug me.
I finally had my blood drawn and was sent to the ultrasound room. A different physician came in with my regular nurse. I explained to him what happened and this would also be my first ultrasound. To all our relief, we saw the baby, heard the heartbeat, and didn't see any major tears in my uterus. I had a few more spotting incidents over the next two weeks but nothing like that particular day. I never really knew what caused it. Either way, like most pregnant women I am still slightly worried every time I use the restroom.
Recipe for pregnancy success
I already mentioned how I feel God is ultimately responsible for my pregnancy, but here is my honest opinion on what changes I made and how I believe they contributed.
1. Acupuncture - I would say this was the biggest game changer. I cannot explain how or why it works but I do think I had internal inflammation that acupuncture relieved. I don't think it works in one or two sessions--not even one or two months necessarily. I estimate I did not really see improvement for six months. This is obviously hard given the hefty price tag.
2. Diet - I'm up in the air on this one in terms of its correlation with the pregnancy, but I would definitely say it was healthy. By eliminating processed carbs/sugar/dairy, I lost between 10-15 lbs. I am a tall person so weight is hard for others to distinguish. I didn't really change clothing size but I lost that bloated look and close friends and family noticed. My digestion was also much improved.
The diet was hard at first and never really fun--that's the biggest downside. Other programs let you splurge or cheat once in a while. I never did on this and it took a lot of the joy out of eating, drinking, hanging out with friends, etc. I decided to give it 100% while I tried and I was successful for at least six months, but since I was nearing the Thanksgiving hormone deadline I had begun to cheat here and there (a random glass of wine, a few chips with salsa, a bite of dessert).
3. Supplements - Not sure. I think they fall in the healthy for you section but again I don't know if they contributed to making my eggs better or ovaries more responsive or getting me pregnant.
4. Herbs - Similar to supplements but I would give them more credit. I do feel they helped alleviate my hot flashes when I first started. Once I had a cycle, I took herbs designed to help with the different phases. Lastly I was on Dr. K's special blend of who knows what. I probably took 5-6 bottles of that--he says most women are pregnant in 2-3. Another note about herbs, you have to take a lot of them and they smell funky (which makes you smell funky).
5. Hormones - This is referring to hormones when I was diagnosed with POF--the ones my OB wanted me to go on immediately due to early menopause and a lack of estrogen. I never wanted to take these and am actually mad at myself for taking them as long as I did in the form of birth control pills for the many years I was preventing pregnancy. Unfortunately, I will likely be on them again in the future. Once all the baby gestating and breastfeeding ends, I fully expect to be back in menopause. I will need to supplement until I reach older age.
I have heard other POF'ers discuss their use and seen a few pregnancy success stories but from everything I read and discussed with my RE, hormones will shut your reproductive system down even further. It synthetically supplies hormones so your body does not ovulate. My RE said the odds are similar to a woman getting pregnant while on the birth control pill (less than 1% chance)--then add in your already next to impossible chance of getting pregnant with POF. This is why I chose to go with Eastern/holistic treatment.
1. Acupuncture - I would say this was the biggest game changer. I cannot explain how or why it works but I do think I had internal inflammation that acupuncture relieved. I don't think it works in one or two sessions--not even one or two months necessarily. I estimate I did not really see improvement for six months. This is obviously hard given the hefty price tag.
2. Diet - I'm up in the air on this one in terms of its correlation with the pregnancy, but I would definitely say it was healthy. By eliminating processed carbs/sugar/dairy, I lost between 10-15 lbs. I am a tall person so weight is hard for others to distinguish. I didn't really change clothing size but I lost that bloated look and close friends and family noticed. My digestion was also much improved.
The diet was hard at first and never really fun--that's the biggest downside. Other programs let you splurge or cheat once in a while. I never did on this and it took a lot of the joy out of eating, drinking, hanging out with friends, etc. I decided to give it 100% while I tried and I was successful for at least six months, but since I was nearing the Thanksgiving hormone deadline I had begun to cheat here and there (a random glass of wine, a few chips with salsa, a bite of dessert).
3. Supplements - Not sure. I think they fall in the healthy for you section but again I don't know if they contributed to making my eggs better or ovaries more responsive or getting me pregnant.
4. Herbs - Similar to supplements but I would give them more credit. I do feel they helped alleviate my hot flashes when I first started. Once I had a cycle, I took herbs designed to help with the different phases. Lastly I was on Dr. K's special blend of who knows what. I probably took 5-6 bottles of that--he says most women are pregnant in 2-3. Another note about herbs, you have to take a lot of them and they smell funky (which makes you smell funky).
5. Hormones - This is referring to hormones when I was diagnosed with POF--the ones my OB wanted me to go on immediately due to early menopause and a lack of estrogen. I never wanted to take these and am actually mad at myself for taking them as long as I did in the form of birth control pills for the many years I was preventing pregnancy. Unfortunately, I will likely be on them again in the future. Once all the baby gestating and breastfeeding ends, I fully expect to be back in menopause. I will need to supplement until I reach older age.
I have heard other POF'ers discuss their use and seen a few pregnancy success stories but from everything I read and discussed with my RE, hormones will shut your reproductive system down even further. It synthetically supplies hormones so your body does not ovulate. My RE said the odds are similar to a woman getting pregnant while on the birth control pill (less than 1% chance)--then add in your already next to impossible chance of getting pregnant with POF. This is why I chose to go with Eastern/holistic treatment.
Glory to God
I fully believe that every child is a miracle and blessing from God, but my getting pregnant naturally after ovarian failure and premature menopause is completely 100% divine. I do believe that changes in my diet and lifestyle (i.e. acupuncture) helped facilitate the process and I joke that my husband and I must have been present, but this was God's will and God's timing. I am humbled and continue to learn lesson after lesson about trust and control through this journey.
I also believe that part of God's plan is for me to share my experience. I am generally pretty private but I felt that holy nudge. I don't know exactly what that means or how far reaching the impact will be, but I feel compelled to do something. In one year's time, I have felt first-hand the heartbreak and real pain of infertility, I have connected with women in my church on similar paths, I have seen more online friends speak out about their struggles, and I even happened to be at my hair dresser (for the first time in 6 months) the same day/time as a girl who recently learned she suffered from autoimmune disorders and felt helpless after western doctors provided little explanation. All of these things can't be random or coincidence; I am thankful for my blessings and for God to continue to use me for His plan.
I also believe that part of God's plan is for me to share my experience. I am generally pretty private but I felt that holy nudge. I don't know exactly what that means or how far reaching the impact will be, but I feel compelled to do something. In one year's time, I have felt first-hand the heartbreak and real pain of infertility, I have connected with women in my church on similar paths, I have seen more online friends speak out about their struggles, and I even happened to be at my hair dresser (for the first time in 6 months) the same day/time as a girl who recently learned she suffered from autoimmune disorders and felt helpless after western doctors provided little explanation. All of these things can't be random or coincidence; I am thankful for my blessings and for God to continue to use me for His plan.
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