Aunt Flo - the ups and downs

To give some timeline perspective, my last cycle was November 27, 2014. I was diagnosed with POF in early March 2015. I began acupuncture with Dr. K immediately and with The Clinic in April 2015. Aunt Flo finally returned on May 13, 2015! From regular every month to a nearly six month dry spell. I was amazed and grateful to have my cycle back. I vowed to never again curse that time of month and always celebrate the fact that my body was alive (tell that to my 16 year old self, ha!). I had three cycles in a row--May 13, June 10, and July 2.

My goal every month was to try and get pregnant. Dr. K was on the same page but The Clinic warned me to give my body some time to recover. I think the big issue they worried about was the quality of eggs and my body's hormonal balance. They wanted to keep me from the heartbreak of miscarriage. Against caution, we tried. Before my period came back, since I never knew if I would just sporadically ovulate we tried consistently throughout the month. Once I had a cycle, I attempted to chart my BBT and we focused the trying on the two week window.

Nothing. But I was ok because at least I had a period which meant some chance. During this time, I had joined a support group at my church. A few of the ladies learned my story and encouraged me to go back to the RE. They thought since I had gotten a somewhat regular period back maybe I could be an IVF candidate. I made another appointment and we went to talk to my RE. He wasn't overly optimistic but intrigued and willing to test. It was Day 4 of my July 2nd cycle. My results came back: FSH of 60 and AMH of <0.015. A week later, my FSH was back over 100. No IVF option...still diagnosed ovarian failure.

It wasn't as tragic as the initial diagnosis but I was definitely disappointed. Here I thought I had made progress and I had a chance of getting pregnant, but according to the statistics and science it wasn't going to happen. I also did not get a period that month so I felt double let down. Back to menopause and facing reality. Even though he always had to deliver the bad news, my RE was very kind and supportive. He encouraged me to take time and grieve--he said if I chose to use donor eggs he was confident I could still carry a child. He knew I was trying alternative therapies but told me I ultimately had until Thanksgiving to get on hormones. Going through menopause so young would put me at increased risk for bone loss and heart problems.