I already mentioned how I feel God is ultimately responsible for my pregnancy, but here is my honest opinion on what changes I made and how I believe they contributed.
1. Acupuncture - I would say this was the biggest game changer. I cannot explain how or why it works but I do think I had internal inflammation that acupuncture relieved. I don't think it works in one or two sessions--not even one or two months necessarily. I estimate I did not really see improvement for six months. This is obviously hard given the hefty price tag.
2. Diet - I'm up in the air on this one in terms of its correlation with the pregnancy, but I would definitely say it was healthy. By eliminating processed carbs/sugar/dairy, I lost between 10-15 lbs. I am a tall person so weight is hard for others to distinguish. I didn't really change clothing size but I lost that bloated look and close friends and family noticed. My digestion was also much improved.
The diet was hard at first and never really fun--that's the biggest downside. Other programs let you splurge or cheat once in a while. I never did on this and it took a lot of the joy out of eating, drinking, hanging out with friends, etc. I decided to give it 100% while I tried and I was successful for at least six months, but since I was nearing the Thanksgiving hormone deadline I had begun to cheat here and there (a random glass of wine, a few chips with salsa, a bite of dessert).
3. Supplements - Not sure. I think they fall in the healthy for you section but again I don't know if they contributed to making my eggs better or ovaries more responsive or getting me pregnant.
4. Herbs - Similar to supplements but I would give them more credit. I do feel they helped alleviate my hot flashes when I first started. Once I had a cycle, I took herbs designed to help with the different phases. Lastly I was on Dr. K's special blend of who knows what. I probably took 5-6 bottles of that--he says most women are pregnant in 2-3. Another note about herbs, you have to take a lot of them and they smell funky (which makes you smell funky).
5. Hormones - This is referring to hormones when I was diagnosed with POF--the ones my OB wanted me to go on immediately due to early menopause and a lack of estrogen. I never wanted to take these and am actually mad at myself for taking them as long as I did in the form of birth control pills for the many years I was preventing pregnancy. Unfortunately, I will likely be on them again in the future. Once all the baby gestating and breastfeeding ends, I fully expect to be back in menopause. I will need to supplement until I reach older age.
I have heard other POF'ers discuss their use and seen a few pregnancy success stories but from everything I read and discussed with my RE, hormones will shut your reproductive system down even further. It synthetically supplies hormones so your body does not ovulate. My RE said the odds are similar to a woman getting pregnant while on the birth control pill (less than 1% chance)--then add in your already next to impossible chance of getting pregnant with POF. This is why I chose to go with Eastern/holistic treatment.
Monday, January 4, 2016
Glory to God
I fully believe that every child is a miracle and blessing from God, but my getting pregnant naturally after ovarian failure and premature menopause is completely 100% divine. I do believe that changes in my diet and lifestyle (i.e. acupuncture) helped facilitate the process and I joke that my husband and I must have been present, but this was God's will and God's timing. I am humbled and continue to learn lesson after lesson about trust and control through this journey.
I also believe that part of God's plan is for me to share my experience. I am generally pretty private but I felt that holy nudge. I don't know exactly what that means or how far reaching the impact will be, but I feel compelled to do something. In one year's time, I have felt first-hand the heartbreak and real pain of infertility, I have connected with women in my church on similar paths, I have seen more online friends speak out about their struggles, and I even happened to be at my hair dresser (for the first time in 6 months) the same day/time as a girl who recently learned she suffered from autoimmune disorders and felt helpless after western doctors provided little explanation. All of these things can't be random or coincidence; I am thankful for my blessings and for God to continue to use me for His plan.
I also believe that part of God's plan is for me to share my experience. I am generally pretty private but I felt that holy nudge. I don't know exactly what that means or how far reaching the impact will be, but I feel compelled to do something. In one year's time, I have felt first-hand the heartbreak and real pain of infertility, I have connected with women in my church on similar paths, I have seen more online friends speak out about their struggles, and I even happened to be at my hair dresser (for the first time in 6 months) the same day/time as a girl who recently learned she suffered from autoimmune disorders and felt helpless after western doctors provided little explanation. All of these things can't be random or coincidence; I am thankful for my blessings and for God to continue to use me for His plan.
Tuesday, December 29, 2015
Contradictions
Dr. K was not a fan of me going to the doctor so early--I was barely 4 weeks pregnant according to my August 22 cycle. I explained that I was very anxious given my health history and he finally agreed I could get confirmation and blood work, but gave explicit orders for no ultrasound. His argument was the pregnancy being so new (just implanted) and the balance in my body so fragile. I thought that was reasonable.
The next day was slightly awkward. I got my blood taken and when the RE came in to perform an ultrasound I told him I would not be getting one until 6 weeks. He wasn't pleased and assured me vaginal ultrasound doesn't cause miscarriage--they would never do anything to put a pregnancy at risk. I fully trusted and believed him too, but I stood my ground. There was no medical necessity to have one this soon unless they suspected an ectopic pregnancy (which would have other signs/symptoms).
The RE's nurse called later with my blood results. My hormones were within the recommended range but on the low end. They wanted me on supplements--progesterone and estrogen. Shocker, Dr. K didn't want me to take them. He reminded me how western medicine had dismissed my ability to get pregnant, and he thought my body would respond without synthetic/unnecessary medication. He was worried that adding outside hormones would disrupt systems and balance in my body. He said it could be hard on my kidney/liver and cause inflammation. Great. More contradictions and choosing sides.
In the next 24 hours, I consulted with my regular OB, my practitioner from The Clinic, and two family friends that are also OBs and trained in natural healing. The opinions continued to vary but the overall message was that hormones might not be necessary but also shouldn't hurt me/baby. My body was within range and might be able to sustain things on its own but I wanted to limit risk in case I did need the hormonal supplementation. I chose to take the progesterone and estrogen.
The next day was slightly awkward. I got my blood taken and when the RE came in to perform an ultrasound I told him I would not be getting one until 6 weeks. He wasn't pleased and assured me vaginal ultrasound doesn't cause miscarriage--they would never do anything to put a pregnancy at risk. I fully trusted and believed him too, but I stood my ground. There was no medical necessity to have one this soon unless they suspected an ectopic pregnancy (which would have other signs/symptoms).
The RE's nurse called later with my blood results. My hormones were within the recommended range but on the low end. They wanted me on supplements--progesterone and estrogen. Shocker, Dr. K didn't want me to take them. He reminded me how western medicine had dismissed my ability to get pregnant, and he thought my body would respond without synthetic/unnecessary medication. He was worried that adding outside hormones would disrupt systems and balance in my body. He said it could be hard on my kidney/liver and cause inflammation. Great. More contradictions and choosing sides.
In the next 24 hours, I consulted with my regular OB, my practitioner from The Clinic, and two family friends that are also OBs and trained in natural healing. The opinions continued to vary but the overall message was that hormones might not be necessary but also shouldn't hurt me/baby. My body was within range and might be able to sustain things on its own but I wanted to limit risk in case I did need the hormonal supplementation. I chose to take the progesterone and estrogen.
A miracle - Pregnant after POF
I was seeing Dr. K on a weekly basis. I went in for acupuncture treatment on September 22. Every time I saw him, Dr. K would ask about my cycle (if I had ovulated, had a period, how I felt, etc.) then look me over--examining my tongue and checking my pulse before needle treatment. He always told me my pulse read fast/strange due to my thyroid condition and medication. That day, he felt my pulse several times and at longer intervals. I asked if everything was ok and he said sheepishly, "You might be pregnant."
I'll admit my heart skipped a beat but I knew Dr. K--He was always overly optimistic and often joked with me. I told him he couldn't tease me about being pregnant and he just gave me a sly smile and shrug. We proceeded with treatment but it was a wasted session. My mind was going a thousand miles a minute--I couldn't even fathom the thought of being pregnant. I tried to keep my expectations low and talk to myself rationally. Remember the past 7-8 months, how many tests I had taken, what the doctors had said...but I couldn't wait to get home and pee on another stick.
Which is exactly what I did. Then 4 more. The test was positive. OMG.
There was no waiting to spill the beans or cutesy announcement. I sprinted into the living room and practically threw the test at my husband. "This says I'm pregnant. Do you think I'm pregnant? I don't believe it." I didn't believe it and if I did for a second I was terrified that it would go away. What about my hormone levels, what about the quality of my eggs?
It was 4:50pm when I took the test but I was fortunate to call my RE and get an appointment for the next day. My next call was to Dr. K who immediately advised me NOT to go to the doctor. Too late, I was going. I needed confirmation and direction. I trusted Dr. K but I couldn't ignore technology and modern medicine.
The rest of the afternoon was filled with frantic calls and texts to my closest family and friends. Everyone was shocked and cautiously excited.
I'll admit my heart skipped a beat but I knew Dr. K--He was always overly optimistic and often joked with me. I told him he couldn't tease me about being pregnant and he just gave me a sly smile and shrug. We proceeded with treatment but it was a wasted session. My mind was going a thousand miles a minute--I couldn't even fathom the thought of being pregnant. I tried to keep my expectations low and talk to myself rationally. Remember the past 7-8 months, how many tests I had taken, what the doctors had said...but I couldn't wait to get home and pee on another stick.
Which is exactly what I did. Then 4 more. The test was positive. OMG.
There was no waiting to spill the beans or cutesy announcement. I sprinted into the living room and practically threw the test at my husband. "This says I'm pregnant. Do you think I'm pregnant? I don't believe it." I didn't believe it and if I did for a second I was terrified that it would go away. What about my hormone levels, what about the quality of my eggs?
It was 4:50pm when I took the test but I was fortunate to call my RE and get an appointment for the next day. My next call was to Dr. K who immediately advised me NOT to go to the doctor. Too late, I was going. I needed confirmation and direction. I trusted Dr. K but I couldn't ignore technology and modern medicine.
The rest of the afternoon was filled with frantic calls and texts to my closest family and friends. Everyone was shocked and cautiously excited.
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
Moving on
After my skipped cycle, I was doing a lot of soul searching. Most likely I was just bouncing around the stages of grief--from anger to denial to acceptance back to depression. I did have to admit though that something had likely happened with my body/ovaries and I couldn't fix it. I had a tearful visit with my practitioner at The Clinic and we decided to suspend our treatments. I continued taking their supplements but I only received acupuncture from Dr. K. I would continue seeing him until my Thanksgiving hormone deadline.
I had to truly consider my options...If I wanted to have another child, I had to look into adoption or donor eggs. I began preliminary research on both but felt confused and sad. I didn't know how either would fit into my existing family structure with one biological child and both options were very pricey. Or maybe our family truly was complete with one child. I felt stuck.
In the meantime, I had another period beginning on August 22. I was glad but not overly hopeful.
I had to truly consider my options...If I wanted to have another child, I had to look into adoption or donor eggs. I began preliminary research on both but felt confused and sad. I didn't know how either would fit into my existing family structure with one biological child and both options were very pricey. Or maybe our family truly was complete with one child. I felt stuck.
In the meantime, I had another period beginning on August 22. I was glad but not overly hopeful.
Aunt Flo - the ups and downs
To give some timeline perspective, my last cycle was November 27, 2014. I was diagnosed with POF in early March 2015. I began acupuncture with Dr. K immediately and with The Clinic in April 2015. Aunt Flo finally returned on May 13, 2015! From regular every month to a nearly six month dry spell. I was amazed and grateful to have my cycle back. I vowed to never again curse that time of month and always celebrate the fact that my body was alive (tell that to my 16 year old self, ha!). I had three cycles in a row--May 13, June 10, and July 2.
My goal every month was to try and get pregnant. Dr. K was on the same page but The Clinic warned me to give my body some time to recover. I think the big issue they worried about was the quality of eggs and my body's hormonal balance. They wanted to keep me from the heartbreak of miscarriage. Against caution, we tried. Before my period came back, since I never knew if I would just sporadically ovulate we tried consistently throughout the month. Once I had a cycle, I attempted to chart my BBT and we focused the trying on the two week window.
Nothing. But I was ok because at least I had a period which meant some chance. During this time, I had joined a support group at my church. A few of the ladies learned my story and encouraged me to go back to the RE. They thought since I had gotten a somewhat regular period back maybe I could be an IVF candidate. I made another appointment and we went to talk to my RE. He wasn't overly optimistic but intrigued and willing to test. It was Day 4 of my July 2nd cycle. My results came back: FSH of 60 and AMH of <0.015. A week later, my FSH was back over 100. No IVF option...still diagnosed ovarian failure.
It wasn't as tragic as the initial diagnosis but I was definitely disappointed. Here I thought I had made progress and I had a chance of getting pregnant, but according to the statistics and science it wasn't going to happen. I also did not get a period that month so I felt double let down. Back to menopause and facing reality. Even though he always had to deliver the bad news, my RE was very kind and supportive. He encouraged me to take time and grieve--he said if I chose to use donor eggs he was confident I could still carry a child. He knew I was trying alternative therapies but told me I ultimately had until Thanksgiving to get on hormones. Going through menopause so young would put me at increased risk for bone loss and heart problems.
My goal every month was to try and get pregnant. Dr. K was on the same page but The Clinic warned me to give my body some time to recover. I think the big issue they worried about was the quality of eggs and my body's hormonal balance. They wanted to keep me from the heartbreak of miscarriage. Against caution, we tried. Before my period came back, since I never knew if I would just sporadically ovulate we tried consistently throughout the month. Once I had a cycle, I attempted to chart my BBT and we focused the trying on the two week window.
Nothing. But I was ok because at least I had a period which meant some chance. During this time, I had joined a support group at my church. A few of the ladies learned my story and encouraged me to go back to the RE. They thought since I had gotten a somewhat regular period back maybe I could be an IVF candidate. I made another appointment and we went to talk to my RE. He wasn't overly optimistic but intrigued and willing to test. It was Day 4 of my July 2nd cycle. My results came back: FSH of 60 and AMH of <0.015. A week later, my FSH was back over 100. No IVF option...still diagnosed ovarian failure.
It wasn't as tragic as the initial diagnosis but I was definitely disappointed. Here I thought I had made progress and I had a chance of getting pregnant, but according to the statistics and science it wasn't going to happen. I also did not get a period that month so I felt double let down. Back to menopause and facing reality. Even though he always had to deliver the bad news, my RE was very kind and supportive. He encouraged me to take time and grieve--he said if I chose to use donor eggs he was confident I could still carry a child. He knew I was trying alternative therapies but told me I ultimately had until Thanksgiving to get on hormones. Going through menopause so young would put me at increased risk for bone loss and heart problems.
Monday, November 30, 2015
TCM - Traditional Chinese Medicine
Since science had no solution, the small amount of information I found on the internet pointed me to Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM). It sounded a bit far fetched at first but I was willing to try anything for just a chance at another baby--heck at this point, just another menstrual cycle. I dove right in, ordered a book called The Infertility Cure and made an appointment with a local acupuncturist.
I won't go into too many details about the experiences but I will let you all know exactly what I did--because that's the kind of information I was looking for when I was researching. I ended up going to two acupuncture clinics. The first is a solo practitioner (Dr. K). He is Korean and I believe very much the real deal. I consulted with him initially and still use his services today. He told me I had a lot of pelvic and back inflammation. His acupuncture was more aggressive and direct. I felt like he was targeting the specific areas of my body and really trying to make changes. He would make a few dietary suggestions (lower my carbs/sugar) and prescribe herbs from time to time. He also told me to take a prenatal vitamin, folic acid and a baby aspirin. Other than that, there was not a lot of talking. He would ask a few questions but mostly just dive right into the acupuncture.
The second clinic I visited for five months (The Clinic). Although they also performed acupuncture, I liked this clinic more for their mind/body wellness. They listened and gave a lot of suggestions on diet and supplements. I would describe the acupuncture as more relaxing, less clinical and it was the same every session. The diet they recommended which I began strictly following was no carbs, no sugar, no dairy. I would most closely describe it as a Paleo type diet--meat and vegetables. They would also prescribe herbs but I really can't tell you what kinds. I know at first they were to combat hot flashes and restore calm and later to help with the stages of my cycle. The vitamins I took included;
B Complex - one per day
Once Daily - one per day
Pro Omega D - two per day
DHEA 25mg - two per day
System Enzyme Complex - three per day
Vitex - one per day
In addition to this, I would perform castor oil packs occasionally. This is where you soak a piece of wool/cotton in castor oil. You lay the cloth on your lower abdomen and place a heating pad or hot water bottle on top for 30min-one hour. I found this through another blog and felt like it couldn't hurt. I intended to do them every other day but realistically it did not happen. I probably did 15 total in a 4 month period.
For exercising, Dr. K recommended some cardio/leg workouts - such as stair master or biking. He was very big on blood flow and getting the blood moving up from my legs through the pelvis.
I won't go into too many details about the experiences but I will let you all know exactly what I did--because that's the kind of information I was looking for when I was researching. I ended up going to two acupuncture clinics. The first is a solo practitioner (Dr. K). He is Korean and I believe very much the real deal. I consulted with him initially and still use his services today. He told me I had a lot of pelvic and back inflammation. His acupuncture was more aggressive and direct. I felt like he was targeting the specific areas of my body and really trying to make changes. He would make a few dietary suggestions (lower my carbs/sugar) and prescribe herbs from time to time. He also told me to take a prenatal vitamin, folic acid and a baby aspirin. Other than that, there was not a lot of talking. He would ask a few questions but mostly just dive right into the acupuncture.
The second clinic I visited for five months (The Clinic). Although they also performed acupuncture, I liked this clinic more for their mind/body wellness. They listened and gave a lot of suggestions on diet and supplements. I would describe the acupuncture as more relaxing, less clinical and it was the same every session. The diet they recommended which I began strictly following was no carbs, no sugar, no dairy. I would most closely describe it as a Paleo type diet--meat and vegetables. They would also prescribe herbs but I really can't tell you what kinds. I know at first they were to combat hot flashes and restore calm and later to help with the stages of my cycle. The vitamins I took included;
B Complex - one per day
Once Daily - one per day
Pro Omega D - two per day
DHEA 25mg - two per day
System Enzyme Complex - three per day
Vitex - one per day
In addition to this, I would perform castor oil packs occasionally. This is where you soak a piece of wool/cotton in castor oil. You lay the cloth on your lower abdomen and place a heating pad or hot water bottle on top for 30min-one hour. I found this through another blog and felt like it couldn't hurt. I intended to do them every other day but realistically it did not happen. I probably did 15 total in a 4 month period.
For exercising, Dr. K recommended some cardio/leg workouts - such as stair master or biking. He was very big on blood flow and getting the blood moving up from my legs through the pelvis.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)